Why Language Matters in Endometriosis and Pelvic Pain care.
Why Language Matters in Endometriosis Care
When you’ve sat across from hundreds of patients living with persistent pelvic pain or endometriosis, one truth becomes clear: what we say – and how we say it – matters. I learnt this VERY early on in my career and am conscious of it every time I walk in to the clinic. What you say extends beyond the four walls of your treatment room, people take those words home, and some hold on to them for months or years.
For too long, people with endometriosis and pelvic pain have been dismissed, disbelieved, or misdiagnosed. This has a name: medical gaslighting – when someone’s symptoms are minimised or explained away without thorough investigation. It’s not always intentional, but it’s harmful.
As a clinician, learning to communicate with more empathy, curiosity, and validation is not just kind – it’s clinically essential. In this blog, I’ll share practical language swaps, reflection prompts, and strategies we can all use to reduce harm and improve trust in endometriosis care.
What Is Medical Gaslighting?
Medical gaslighting happens when a person’s health concerns are minimised, questioned, or reframed as “all in their head.” In endometriosis, this might sound like:
“Periods are meant to hurt – that’s just part of being a woman.”
“It’s probably just stress or anxiety.”
“You’re too young to have anything serious.”
“You’ve already had a scan, so there’s nothing else to look for.”
These phrases, even when well-meaning, invalidate the lived experience of pain and delay access to appropriate care. Longer term, they may also lead individuals to question their experiences, what their body is telling them, and to lose trust in themselves.
Validating Language: Small Changes, Big Impact
Here are five common clinical phrases – and simple alternatives that promote trust and safety. Some of these are ones I have brainstormed with people with a lived experience, and some are the ones I use in clinic.
Instead of:
“Your scan was normal, so there is nothing wrong”, you could try, “Scans don’t always show what is happening, and your symptoms are real, lets keep exploring this together.”
“You’ll just have to live with it”, you could try, “There are things we can try to help manage your symptoms and improve your quality of life.”
“It’s just part of being a woman”, you could try, “Pelvic pain isn’t somethign anyone should have to endure- let’s look deeper.”
“It’s probably just stress related”, you could try, “Stress can influence pain, but it doesn’t mean your pain isn’t real or physical. Let’s consider both.”
“You have seen so many specialists already”, you could try, “It’s frustrating to be passed around. I want to help connect the dots and support you better.”
Simple tweaks to communication not only build rapport with patients, but also can change their trajectory of care. Before, a person may have left a consult feeling defeated, or a burden, but now leaves a consult feeling motivated and supported.
Clinician Communication Tips for Endometriosis Care
Lead with Curiosity:
Start by asking open-ended questions. “Can you tell me more about what you’ve been experiencing?” gives patients space to share fully- and often reveals things missed in rushed consultations. If you are time poor, offering an open ended text box on your intake form may assist you to gather some details before.Validate Before You Educate:
Before offering explanations, acknowledge the experience. A simple “That sounds incredibly difficult – I’m sorry you’ve been going through this” builds rapport and psychological safety. It also shows you have listened first.Use Clear, Non-Minimising Language:
Words like “just” and “mild” can unintentionally downplay symptoms. If a patient says their pain is a 9/10 and they're struggling at work- that deserves to be taken seriously, even if imaging is unremarkable. This also creates a space where patients aren’t compared to others. We know that endometriosis stage does not correlate to symptom severity, and reflecting that back to the patient can sometimes be helpful.Be Honest About Uncertainty:
It’s okay not to have all the answers. What matters is showing patients that you’re willing to keep looking and that they’re not alone in the process. Acknowledging out loud that maybe you don’t know, but you will ask your colleagues, can sometimes be reassuring that you are invested in their care.Remember the Nervous System:
When people feel dismissed, the nervous system perceives threat – and this can amplify pain. Trauma-aware language calms that threat, supporting better outcomes.
From Disbelief to Trust
Validation doesn’t mean over-promising a cure. It means acknowledging the realness and complexity of endometriosis, and making patients feel like partners in their care – not passive recipients or problem patients.
Many of the people I see have had years of being told it’s “normal” or “nothing.” Often these patients aren’t the ones seeking for you to “fix” everything, but rather the patients that are grateful to be heard, and that you are interested in trying to find solutions.
Final Thoughts: Better Words, Better Outcomes
When we swap minimising language for curiosity and care, we don’t just improve the experience – we improve outcomes. Patients are more likely to engage, advocate, and access ongoing support when they feel heard.
As clinicians, we can’t change the entire system overnight. But we can change our 15-minute conversations and that is a good place to start.
